Best Comment Contest

Guess what, everybody? I found Jesus! He was in my inbox.

This was posted in response to my Dear Jesus letter:

Dear Amber:

I can't help you, because I don't exist. If I did exist, it would probably be a much nicer world. But, you should you get out of incredibly small mindset, look around, and realize believing in a deity makes absolutely no sense at all. Intelligent people don't believe in god - amber, are you intelligent?

Sincerely,
Jesus

Here are a few of the ideas that I went through my mind in response to Jesus:

Jesus,
Como Estas? Tu Ingles is muy bien. Puedes cantar, tambien? Mucho gusto Tijuana por tequila barato y los discos. Te gustas tequila? Gracias por leyendo mi blog, Mantequilla de Cacahuete y Cigarillos.

~or~

Jesus,
How can you be writing me if you don't exist? Maybe if I wasn't so unintelligent this would make sense...

~or~

Jesus,

Welcome to my blog. Maybe you should take a quick look around to get to know who you're shooting off at the mouth at before you spread all of your issues around. Because, if you had you would discover that I employ something called irony every once in a while in order to make my writing a bit more interesting and fanciful. You should look it up- I provided a link. Furthermore, to state that one is small minded and unintelligent to believe in a deity is, well, small minded and unintelligent. While there are god-believing people who live their lives with little self-awareness and stubborn ignorance (like this guy and this guy and this guy) who would easily prove your point, there are also people like this and this and this who have changed the world through their brilliance, consciousness, and their belief in-yes- God.

Yet, I know that there are so many more brilliant responses that could be made to Jesus and to have just one or two or even three just doesn't seem to be enough. So, I have decided to host a Best Comment Contest to allow all of you to join in on the fun! Please submit your comment to Jesus and allow the creativity (and profanity) to flow! More than one submission is encouraged! A winner will be chosen and a grand prize awarded! Comment away, bloggers!