Dear Diary...

It's been a long time since she's come out, but it's time for another rousing rendition of

MY JUNIOR HIGH DIARIES!

March 29, 1990 (Rachel's B-day) Tuesday

There's a lot of catching up to be done. On March 6, or 7, Ruthie O. told me that Jeremy Clookie likes me. At first, it was like, Jeremy? I barely know him. But, as the days went on, I started to like him. And to this day, I still do. He knows that I like him, I know that he likes me, and we both have the same feelings about "going with people-" we hate it. We both think it's stupid. He's not too cute, although he isn't ugly - at all. He's got a temper and a half, but he's totally sweet to me.

Then, about a week ago, Ruth, Amber and Shay came up to me and told me that I was being a jerk, a stuck-up snob, and all I could do was talk, brag, and think about Jeremy. Sure, I loved (underlined) to brag about him. He's the only guy who's ever liked me, and I've liked him since Scott Kurtz. We talked about it, and it hurt, it really hurt to hear them talk the way they did. Maybe they didn't realize it, but those words were going into a girl's ears who's put up with enough hard times already.

Well, anyway, I don't even know if he still likes me, I still like him, I know that. I have a feeling that he kinda, sorta likes me, but not like he used to. DARN.

I'm getting my hair cut on Friday - real short. About to the ears (A little longer).

Well, gotta jam. It's 10:11pm.

Dear Diary...

Another juicy excerpt from my junior high diaries.

(I strongly urge you to read every one of them... they're heavenly.)

January 19, 1989 (12 years old)

Today at school Amber (note to reader: my best friend in junior high was a girl named Amber Rady. We were "the Ambers," or "Amber ditto" as we liked to call ourselves. Uggh. Doesn't this just make you hate junior higher even more?) did a pretty stupid thing. I'll start from the beginning. Jayme Shephard has been having some friend problems like Michelle Tadeo and Leeanna Miller have really left her out and haven't been treating her very well. Well one day Jayme and I were kind of talking about her problems and some of mine. Melissa Maddux had just called her an A. She was crying and I told Amber about it, which was pretty stupid of me. Amber went out and talked to Miss Arend (today) or first she said to Miss A that she wanted to talk to her about it. I wrote Amber a note saying that I thought it was none of her business and she should just leave Jayme alone. If she wants help, she can get it herself. She got really mad and later Jenny Sipp told me that she went down the halls saying "I hate Amber Rice." I tried to persuade her but she went to Miss Arend anyways. Miss Arend came out and talked to Jayme. I asked Jayme what she said and she said that she mostly just said, "if you ever need help then you can come to me" and so on. But Jayme has really changed. She says that she feels God is leading her away from Michelle and Leeanna and God is working in her life. It's really neat to hear her saying things like that. I'm glad she's changed. I hope to become her friend.

January 26, 1989 (seven days later)

Me and Amber made up either yesterday or the day before, I can't remember. It was kind of lame because the thing with Amber is that she always wins. When we talk to each other about the fights we had she always has something good to say and I don't. So I sit there after she has made a really smart remark, waiting for her to say more. By the way - the reason I'm writing so sloppy is because I'm up in the tree in the front yard. Today was twins day and I was twins with Shay Nelson. We looked pretty good. Mrs. Ross and her daughter, Kristen won, though. We were second. I got my hair cut and it looks pretty good. Shay was cool about not winning, but truely I wanted to win. I thought we were real good and we should have won. My goal is to be more like Shay: not drawing attention, calm, nice to everyone, and so on. I know, this doesn't have to do with much but I think Amber thinks I'm teacher's pet for Miss Arend. She thought that way for Shay because Shay passed out papers and other stuff. Amber looks at me funny and stuff. She probably thinks I'm a trator. The thing is that I think I'm teacher's pet also. Not a lot, but a little. Miss Arend is really strict and not very nice but can give you a 1000 watt smile that just makes you feel like Miss Arend loves you!

Dear Diary...

More from my beloved junior high diaries...

1/3/1990 (age 14)

I didn't write on Christmas mainly cuz I didn't have my diary. I left it at Carrie's and I spent the night at G-ma Kay's cuz I was sick.

Well, anyways, I got lots (underlined) of stuff: roller skates, LA Gear shoes, Colors perfume, new night gown, robe, slippers, nutcracker (Grandma gave me that plus book stands), new shirts, potpourri burner, gloves, socks and undies, Michael W. Smith tape, Amy Grant tape, and a pretty cow shirt.

February 5, 1990

On Friday, the 3rd, Ruth Obregon invited me and Amber Rady and Rachelle Smith and Shay Nelson and Marlena Jones to go to a Bible study at her house. Amber couldn't go, but everyone else did.

I went home with Ruthie after school, and we stayed at school after school and we watched the games and hung around.

The Bible study was really good. Ruth talked on secular rock-music. It was a lot of fun and the praying was real emotional. Shay is having some problems with Bethany Anderson, but I'm not sure what they are. She started crying when we prayed for her.

After the Bible study we went to Josh Floro's house and Jeremy Clookie was there. We played games and did the Jane Fonda workout. We wrestled, although Josh's dad told us not to. I can't believe how much fun I had. I had a BLAST (underlined). We stayed there until 11:00pm, and then they took us home.

I spent the night at Ruth's and then in the morning she had to get tutored in history by Mrs. Campbell for history. I had to go with her, but it was actually kinda fun.

Well, nothing really happened today. We had communion in church today. I wish Nathan, Corey, and I got along a little better. I hate the fights, hard feelings, tears, etc., that goes on. I try, but it never works. I just wish we were all a little more Christian-like.

Dear Diary...

Another excellent excerpt from my junior high diaries:

10/28/89 Friday (note to reader: just turned 13)

I got home from Jr. High Camp today. God really moved in my life. I am now doing devotions every night. Kelly Malanga and Jody Hansen were my counselors. I had a rad cabin, too. Amber, Shay, Andrea Munden, Ruth Obregon, Jaime Slagel, Jaime White, Jennifer Jeremiah. I'm gonna keep track of what I learn in my journal. It should be great! You know what's strange? I think I finally like someone again. His name is Justin Weeks. He's Mr Weeks (our principals) son! He's cute, considerate, and VERY nice to me. He plays guitar very well. He is a Christian. Only one problem: he's in 7th grade. BUT, he's supposed to be in 8th. He's 6 months older than me, too. If he asked me, I might say yes. Well, gotta go!

11/6/89

I didn't realize how long it's been since I last wrote. Amber Rady went out with Justin, and when I found out I was so-o-o-o jealous. I told Amber that I was, too, because that way Satan can not get to me as bad.

But now, Amber's thinking of breaking up with him because they don't communicate as well as when they used to when they weren't going out.

If Justin were to ask me, which he might, maybe, possibly do, then I don't think I'd go out w/ him just because I know it won't last and when they break up, it's like they aren't friends anymore, and they're mad and so on.

Today was report cards and I got all A's and B's (big smiley face).

Dear Diary...

So, I found my junior high and high school diaries the other day and I have been absolutely horrified and delighted by them ever since. I was a WEIRD kid. I mean, weird. And while I would love to keep some shred of dignity in my life, I feel strongly that these jewels must be shared with the world.

So here they are. Enjoy!

March 31 (Easter) 1991 (note to reader: age 13) Long time, no write. I (heart) Kevin Chase. The guy I met at the Mexicali Outreach at the showers, who I've kissed, cried over, and become girlfriend to. I met him on March 25, sometime after 3:00 (he gave me that statistic). We hung around each other and for the rest of the best week of my life, we were known as a couple and I never felt so good. The people from San Andreas Community Covenant Church loved me so much and accepted me and I (heart) them all so much. Kevin called me twice today, and first asked me to be his girlfriend then told me he missed me and loved me. I told him the same. Oh. He's 17 and a Jr. He'll be 18 on Dec 5.

June 19 (the very next entry) Well, Kevin and I are still going out, but I think I need to break it off. I love Kevin and I would die for him. But since I (heart) him, I feel like I need to let him go to be free. We'll see each other once this summer at CHIC and I know that we'll just kiss and hug and hang all over each other like we did in Mexicali, but I also KNOW (underlined) that God doesn't want us together and that he has something better for me. But, I've already made a tape for Kevin and we're gonna see eachother, etc., and it's SO (underlined) hard. Plus, I need and want to be free, myself. I don't know how to tell Kevin this and I don't want it to be like we never write or talk ever again afterwards. I think I'll wait till after CHIC to break-up. BUT (underlined), I MUST HOLD MYSELF TO IT. I WILL!

I'm on ASB for the next year as the sophomore sec/treas. I LOVE (underlined) ASB. We've had a campout and a meeting so far -> both were great. The campout was great because I met Jeremy Buegge (heart heart heart)! He's SO COOL! But... Kevin...

ANYWAY, the meeting was w/ the administration and we got a LOT accomplished and disgussed (reader, note the spelling). I felt involved the whole meeting. I put my 2 cents worth in and a little more.

I can't wait to start working w/ everyone on ASB this summer and next year. I called today to see about the class of 94's account and I had been told that there probably would be only about $200 in there. But... there's $813.40 in it! I'm so stoked! I can't believe it!

Current events:

1. Swim -> Heartland swim is SO (underlined) hard. Bethany Anderson and I are doing it together and we are about to die. It will get us in shape, though.

2. Mom -> diet with Jenny Craig. So far, so good. She's lost more than half the weight she wants to.

3. ASB -> Buegge, Buegge, Buegge.

4. Nate -> Forest Home (I miss him)

Couples, or who likes who:

1. Amber Rady (I think) likes Jean. She did, and they had a little scuffle, and now she doesn't. It'll blow over.

2. Lisa Gawf and Bubba (Dave) Parris -> SCARY!

3. Steve Rees and Tammy Scenna -> CUTE!

4. Bethany Anderson is in (heart) with Brian Winkleman -> OKAY?

5. Meesha likes Brian Togabot -> AGAIN! OH NO!

6. Sarah Woolsey and Mike Murphy -> who knows?

Okay. Gotta go. It's 11:46pm.