Many of you have been requesting- nay, begging me to do a sultry, seductive web-cam show for all of my loyal readers, and while I totally understand your desire for this I am going to have to decline, once and for all. Let me apologize, in advance, for letting you all down. And in order to squelch all attempts to convince me otherwise, I am going to give you the reasons why I cannot perform a show for you, my beloved reader. I hope this puts all future requests at bay.
#1. I want to be seen as a respectable blogger.
#2. Postpartum breasts.
#3. I have to protect my son's dignity.
#4. I haven't "groomed" in a while.
#5. I didn't want to compete with this guy.
#6. And lastly, this is what happened the last time I put on a show. I'm still in negotiations with workman's comp...
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9 comments:
Bwa ha ha. You could see that one coming.
And did I miss something? Are you skilled at the art of strip tease? Now I'm intrigued...
That's one of those situations where you're caught between laughing your ass off and choking out, "Oh my god! Are you okay?"
Also, that personal ad you wrote almost made me spit Diet Pepsi on the screen this morning. Good times!
oh that was a great laugh!!! what the hell was she thinking??? so funny!
IF: Hah! Hah! HAH HAHHA HAAHAHAHAHH!
...skilled at the art of striptease...
HAHAAHHHAHAHAHHHHh hAHHhH HAha!
Whooo... Whew. That was a good one. Ah, man...
I just had a laughagasm.
IF: Oh, were you being serious?
Vicious: I think we may have been separated at birth. Thanks for coming by... love your blog!
Dalyn: I know. I could watch it over and over again. It never gets un-funny. BTW, I think I have a girl crush on you.
Okay, since I don't have an email address for you yet, I have to leave this here. I just read the post about your "American Pie" moment and I have to tell you...I'm laughing my ass off as I type this. Not because I don't feel for you, but because I have one better. Just after getting together with Russ we were having that kind of sex where you just HEAR the porn music in your own head? Yeah..and my ten year old daughter walked in on us...oh the joy! His naked ass in the air, me moaning like there's no tomorrow. Parental suffering knows no bounds! At least your son was to young to understand what that odd noise was.
First of all, am I going to look like that after 9 months?? And second of all, hilarious video.
Vicious: Oh Lord. Might as well start a therapy fund for her right now.
Bin: No, no, no. Of course not.
Of course not.
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