Update on the diet...

Alright, so I really thought I'd be posting a lot more during this whole diet experiment. And I thought the posts would look like

SONOFABITCH, I hate this fucking diet. I hate everything. I'm so damn hungry! I need icecream, NOW! Why did I agree to do this? My insides hurt. I want to go eat the entire Taco Bell menu. Fuck Marla. Fuck this diet. Fuck the dead people who told me to do this. I want a Frosty.

But, instead, I've only had minor bouts of frustration and angst. I didn't have any serious cravings until recently, when I was home sick with a 102 degree fever. I wanted a quesadilla like you couldn't believe. And when I told myself no, myself argued back, "Okay, how about some icecream." And when I said no again, she said, "SHIT, then how about some nachos?!" I said no again and she said, "I hate you and I hate your ass face!"

It's a new idea to take care of my body. I've always taken pride in NOT caring about my body. It's like I didn't want to be like all of the other depressed, insecure, body-loathing girls who obsess every day about the number on the scale. So, I spent my life rebelling against this idea of caring about one's body. Instead, I shunned anything that looked like body care: gyms, health food, diets, counting calories or carbs or pounds. And (I admit it, shamefully), I looked down on those around me who DID care and who were cutting out carbs and not eating after 8pm. Look at them, I thought, all obsessed about their bodies. Tisk, tisk.

So I'm relearning what it means to take care of my body. To care about my body. To care FOR my body. It's new and I kind of like it. In fact, I'm thinking about taking a nutrition class so I can understand what my body does for me and what I can do for it. Who knows. Maybe by the end of this thing, my Body and I will be friends again.