It's cold and gray here in San Diego, like my mood. I lost my job and my crush and I feel uninspired. I'm finding it hard to trust that if I just keep pushing I'll hit sunlight. I'm growing tired of hitting my head against a rock.I want to feel the sun. I want to unfurl and grow tall, open the soft petals of my heart toward the world and allow myself to be seen. I want to be embraced and loved and caressed, scooped up and my scent inhaled into the body of another.
The effort of life is making me weary. I am tired of efforting. I want to be tugged along by the natural flow of a life of ease but instead I flail and thrash around. I'd like to find that current, the one that I can maneuver and stay afloat in, and feel myself hit my stride. But maybe that's a fantasy fueled by motivational speakers and spiritual infomercials. I don't know.
I'm ready, God. I'm ready to really take off. I'm tired of this small town living. I'm ready for my big break, that one role that gives me the leg up into the industry of my life. So go talk to your people and then get in touch with my agent.
Thanks,
Amber.
